zealotarchaeologist:

i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

theangelthatfellfordean:

that moment of intimacy with the person who adjusts your seat belt on a roller coaster

iamjonwanker:

shut up mom i’m thinking of a text post

nobritish:

yourgold:

remember when zeke admitted he bakes and could make creme brulee man that was one of the biggest plot twists in movie history

iguanamouth:

current emotion: any picture of spike the dinosaur from land before time

wonderpunch:

if you wanna date an emotionally unstable asshole with cool taste in tunes hmu

naughtyrobotics:

i h8 it when folks call me cute because i never know if its cute like baby bird or cute like u wanna frickle frackle 

sylvanburningcenter:

WWSED??? {what would sunglasses emoji do}

qenitals:

shopping carts in random places make me sad

there is nothing for you there friend

croutoncat:

i wanna die but maybe something cool will happen so ill stay alive for now